Are you still talking about "sex" change?The lack of sex education may make children unable to avoid when facing sexual assault

A few days ago, a angry and helpless scandal was exposed by major media: Wang, a 57 -year -old group holding chairman Wang, was suspected of molested a 9 -year -old girl.According to the Public Security Bureau, on the afternoon of June 29, the 49 -year -old woman Zhou lied to "take a child to Disney to play", but in fact, the daughter of a friend went to the hotel to let adults perform sexual assault. These two childrenOne is only 9 years old and the other is 12 years old!On the same day, the 9 -year -old girl was molested by Wang, a 57 -year -old Wang.Afterwards, the girl called her mother in Jiangsu and cried, and her mother immediately came to Shanghai to call the police to unveiled this terrible crime.

In the past 4 years of 2015-2018, there were 1401 children’s sexual assault children’s sexual assaults on children, and the number of victims exceeded 2,568, including boys and girls.According to data from the Supreme People’s Court, from 2013 to 2016, the number of obscene children’s cases of obscenity children in the country’s trial was 10,782, and the average daily trial was more than 7 cases.In other words, at least 7 innocent children are harmed in sexual assault every day.

These exposed cases are only the tip of the iceberg in children’s sexual assault cases, because some families are unwilling to say for their reputation, and some parents have fundamentally unaware that their children have been infringed.Therefore, some experts estimate that the sexual assault of primary and secondary school students is 1: 7!

What will these helpless children look like when they encounter infringement?It may only be allowed in fear, and it may be the pain of despair in the roar. That clip became their deepest nightmare. Since then, they are imprinted on their bodies like a birthmark, even if they are old, they are still worried.

However, according to the "Girl Protection" 2018 sexual assault of children’s cases and survey reports of children’s anti -sexual assault education surveys ", only 42%of parents can judge whether they are sexually assaulted from their children’s words and deeds. At the same time, only 37.35%of parents are inIn daily life, children have carried out anti -sexual assault safety education. 22.91%of parents have never performed, and the remaining 39.75%of parents have occasionally conducted two or three times.The reason for not doing anti -sexual assault education for children is that parents think "do not know how to do", "Children should wait for them to grow up."It’s hard to enlighten ".

Parents think that children do not need education, but criminals will not let them go because their children are small!You will never know who is the wolf wearing human skin in the person you meet.

How to prevent it?Only knowing danger can avoid danger, so early childhood education may be an important part of children’s understanding of sexual assault and avoiding sexual assault.

Most parents wait until adolescence to do sex education, breast development, menstrual tide, and sperm … Because in the past, we thought that children had only experienced sexual consciousness after adolescence.In fact, this view is out of date.Now that children will enter the sexual enlightenment period at the age of 3-6, showing their interest in "gender".

They will ask, "Where do I come from?", "Why are I different from my father/mother?", "Why do I want to squat next door to urinate and I want to urinate."I unconsciously strokes its genital area, or starts to "pinch legs" and rub the quilt on the bed.If it lacks effective guidance during this period, it will cause children to fall into misunderstandings about "sex", and after entering adolescence, they will be obsessed with masturbation or have disgusting "sex".

Professor Liu Wenli, head of the Children’s Sexual Education Research Team of Beijing Normal University, believes that the correct sex education must start from the age of 0. The age of 0 to 6 is an important enlightenment stage of sex education.Essence

As a parent, we must correctly realize that "sex" is a normal thing. When the child enters the sexual enlightenment period and shows the curiosity of the body of ourselves and the opposite sex, you can conduct sexual education for your child.

Writing here, Beichen’s mother can’t help but think of my fifth grade aunt!When Xiao Beichen was born, the little aunt pointed at Xiao Beichen’s reproductive organs stupidly: "Xunzi, why is there a black paint behind his umbilical cord?"After referring to where, I almost didn’t smash my caesarean wound!I

"That’s not the umbilical cord! That’s a place for boys to urinate! Unlike our girls! You are all in the fifth grade, haven’t your mom told you? Didn’t you talk about the health and health classes of the school?"

The little aunt shook his head in surprise: "No! From small to large, my mother hasn’t spoken, and the school has no these lessons! I also know today that the boy is like this!"

After that, Bei Chen’s mother showed some interesting children’s sex education cartoons to her aunt, so as not to let her keep "sexual blindness".

And this time, after listening to me about this news, she asked me naively: "What is rape?"

Hey, I have to sigh that in China, children’s three lack of education: sex education, death education, and love education.

1. Do not avoid talked to children

If parents can actively face the problem of "sex" and maintain a scientific and natural attitude when telling "sex" related knowledge, then children will also have a scientific understanding of "sex".Conversely, if parents talk about "sex" change, taboo talks about "sex" related issues, children will associate "sex" and perverts, shame, etc.This is extremely unfavorable for future sex education.When the child is curious about "where I come from" for the first time, we can start the guidance of "sex" step by step.If you are a child with a younger age and insufficient understanding, we can simply say, "Mom and dad are combined because of love, and the mother is pregnant. You stayed in your mother’s belly for 10 months."If you are an older child over 8 years old, you can teach him sperm, eggs, uterus and other concepts in detail, or use children’s sex education picture books to expand sexual behavior, contraception and other knowledge in detail, tell the child sexual behaviorA normal thing should be carried out in a private space when both sides voluntarily.

It is not because you feel that sex education is difficult to open up, just use "you are picked up by the trash can" to perfunctory children!

2. Correctly recognize the sexual organs

Just like knowing hands, feet, nose and ears, parents can use the opportunity to take a bath to educate their children to correctly understand their sexual organs, including the following aspects:

Teach children to identify sexual organs: Tell the child whether he/she is a boy or a girl. The boys have penis, so they have to stand in the toilet, and girls have pussy, so they want to squat to the toilet.It is not recommended to use the name of the organs, such as chicks, Tintin, etc.

I told children that men and women are different, but regardless of the advantages and disadvantages: I told children that because boys and girls have different sexual organs, boys can only go to men’s toilets and men’s bathrooms, and girls can only go to women’s toilets and women’s bathrooms.But boys and girls do not have the differences between advantages and disadvantages. Both boys and girls can be friends and can play together.

Teach children to protect privacy parts: Tell the child with the help of the picture that the parts covered by the pants and vest cannot be shown to others, nor can it be given to others.If someone does not have the consent of the child or parent to see and touch, the child should immediately call for help and tell the parents and teachers.Similarly, children cannot touch the privacy parts of others because of curiosity.

3. Correctly treat children’s masturbation behavior

Children around 3 years old can be perceived, so masturbation of children is a normal thing, and it is also the process of children who have a curiosity about their bodies and explore their bodies.

They don’t understand this line, they just feel comfortable.Therefore, parents are discovering that children’s masturbation behavior is that they don’t have to be angry to label their children "dirty" and "down", and they don’t need to think that this is a shame.Parents’ anger will only deepen their children’s curiosity about taboos.

The correct approach is to tell the child to wash your hands before touching his own privacy part. You cannot put any items into your own privacy parts. When someone is there, he cannot touch his privacy part.If you can’t control it, you can’t help but want to touch it, you must tell your parents that mom and dad can help you, take you to play games together, watch the picture book together to disperse attention.

In addition, many studies have shown that fear and loneliness will aggravate children’s masturbation behavior. Most of them come from intense family relationships and long -term parent -child parting.There are many causes of masturbation in children. After discovering children’s unconscious masturbation, parents may also guide and correct for different reasons.

Last year, the ME TOO movement showing the potential of Laguhara was discussed by many people. It also found that there were countless sexual assaults that have not been discovered and reported.In children’s sexual assault cases, more than seven more than seven became acquaintances.Our world crisis, how should we protect our children?

1. Cultivate children’s body boundaries

First of all, we must make it clear that cultivating children’s body boundaries should start with family education. Even as parents, they cannot touch the child’s privacy parts at will. We should get the child’s consent before touching it.Daily hugs and kisses. Once the child is struggling, parents should stop immediately to take this opportunity to tell the child that "If the baby doesn’t like others to touch you, I will say it, and I will not touch it."In this way, the child forms a clear concept: I have autonomy to my body. If I do not agree or like, others should not kiss me, hug me, and touch me.In this way, once an abnormal physical contact occurs, the child can immediately identify, so as to ask for help from adults.

2. Exercise in the game

Children have no concept of "sexual assault", and it is difficult to cultivate children’s crisis awareness.We can use games to let children understand.For children who have preliminary understanding, parents can play a game of role -playing, a parent who plays a child, and one person imitates strangers or acquaintances to seduce children. In the process of the game, telling children which behaviors are not trusted.I want to tell parents.In this way, when the child encounters danger in reality, he can quickly react.It is worth noting that although we are very concerned about the safety of children, the education of preventing sexual assault should not be intimidating education, deepen the child’s fear of "sex" for the future psychological development and intimate relationship of childrenInfluence.

3. Educate children to call for help when encountering violations

This method looks a bit stupid, in fact most of the time is effective.Children’s sexual assaults are not poor gangsters. They will also be timid and cowardly, and they will also feel fear when they implement criminal behavior.At this time, the child’s call help may become the last straw that crushes them and rescue themselves from the danger.At the same time, we also have to tell the child that if he has happened to make him feel uncomfortable, do not dare to say because the bad guys are intimidated or worried about being scolded by the parents. Letting the child know that parents will always trust him.Back, parents can punish the bad guys who hurt him.

For children, picture books and films can understand the concept of "sex" than boring languages.

1. Picture book

"Why do parents have me"

"How do I come to this world?" I believe it is a question that every child will be curious.This picture book introduces basic sex and reproductive concepts about gender, pregnancy, and childbirth, and uses pictures to lead children into the world of sexual enlightenment.

"The Story of the Chicken"

This picture book can help children understand their sexual organs correctly, and let children realize that there is no essential difference between sexual organs and eyes, ears, and ears. It is also part of the human body, so that children can understand and appreciate their bodies.

"Is there a chick in Saki"

There is no difference between gender, but "like a boy" may make some girls confused, and vice versa.In addition to telling the concept of gender in physiology, this picture book also clarifies "different men and women" from social psychology, and educate children’s correct gender environments.

"Where do you come from my friend"

"Fairy Tale King" Zheng Yuanjie wrote a sex education book for his son. This picture book provides parents with the focus of child sex education at the age group.It is easy to introduce the concept of "sex".

"Kissing Children Talking Sex"

To allow children to better understand "sex", guide children to establish awareness of "sex", so that parents and children can easily and naturally talk about sexual knowledge.

2. Video

India: "The Embarrassment of Father and Son Education"

This short film introduces the concept of sexual behavior to children in a very vivid way, and it looks more like a humorous comedy movie.

China: "Xiaowei forward"

A process of sperm becomes a baby, vividly lets children understand how life is bred, and maybe they can also never give up from the sperm adventure journey.

Japan: "The Birth of Life"

It tells the "love story of fertilized eggs", which is not only an excellent children’s sex education work, but also moved and inspired adults.

As parents, we cannot recognize every danger in life, cannot resist every damage for children, and cannot guarantee that the children behind us will never be harmed, but we can teach children to protect themselves.Whether it is sex education or prevention of sexual assault, it is an important part of domestic children’s education.Parents in our generation may be more scientifically looking at the issue of "sex" and assume the responsibility of family education.

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